Ric Flair

Ric Flair Mug Shot...All I have to say is WOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...To be the man you have to get locked up by the man, Wooooooooooooooooooooooo...thanks to our friends at thesmokinggun.com for the pic. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Oldie but goodie

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"
To which she replied, "I'm late for work."
"Oh yeah," said the cop, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.
The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher. And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide."
"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked.
"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge."
Traffic Ticket $95.00 Court Costs. $45.00 The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS

Holiday Weekend Review

Well yet another Thanksgiving Holiday has come and gone and I have to say it went too quickly.

Went to the Lions game w/ Heather only to see, as expected, another Lion disappointment. How Mooch still has a job today is beyond me. Let's add it up shall we.... $100 for tix, $50 Parking, $8 Mike's hard lemonade, $11 Corona w/ Lime, $13.50 Nacho and Dog, Watching the Lions get embarrassed in person....Priceless. Spent the rest of the day @ Heather's Aunts house. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Turkey.....

Friday morning was spent shopping. Having the baby w/ us made it interesting to say the least. Nothing better than Toys R Us @ 5:30 AM on the day after thanksgiving. Also bought a WAY to big tree for our living room. 6 Foot just seemed too small in the store. Well, 7.5" is just too large. I re-configured the living room a couple of times then we decided to just leave it where it was and deal w/ it. I love the holidays, don't you?

Stefanie and Brendan spent the weekend with their mother's family. They had a great time at the Sterling Inn going to the indoor waterpark. I missed them soooooo much it hurt. Two Holidays down and Three to go. (Christmas, New Years, and of course the Super Bowl)

Jiri Fischer collapsing on the bench

Last night brought back a lot of bad memories of sports tragedy in Detroit. Immediately after my mother called to tell me there was a Red Wing on TV getting CPR, I switched over to Fox Sports Detroit. There was a somber Mickey Redmond describing the scene. At that point in the night there was speculation that he took a puck to the neck. Then Mickey "telestrated" a replay that appeared to show a Wings player getting hit w/ an errant stick. In the end they are calling it a seizure and heart failure. Jiri was shocked w/ a defibulator and was able to breath on his own. Of course, as of today 11/22/05 there is no word if he will be able to play again, but that does not matter. Here is a 25 year old man in the prime of his hockey career cut down.

It reminded me of two incidents that I witnessed personally at the Pontiac Silverdome. When Mike Utley went down we had no idea that his neck was broken as he was carted off. He gave the famous "thumbs up" signal and we all figured it wasn't something as serious as it ended up. This hulk of a man hasn't walked since. The other incident happened the day that Barry Sanders broke his 2000 yard mark for the season. The Lions were playing the NY Jets that day. Not only was there anticipation for Barry breaking 2000 yards, but the Lions were in the playoff hunt. It was a close fought game and as the game wore on, the rowdier the dome got. If memory serves me correctly, the Lions were in need of a big defensive stand, and the dome was ROCKING. Literally. The stands were shaking. You could feel them beneath your feet. The only other time I felt that was the year the Lions beat the Cowboys in the playoffs. The Jets snapped the ball then within seconds the medical crew were on the field attending to Reggie Brown. We could see them giving him CPR. The entire building grew silent, players took a knee in a circle on the field, both Jets and Lions in prayer. Then two Lions players, the one I remember was Lomas Brown, in desperation to do something....anything........ went running to the tunnel and got a stretcher. They dashed across the field clumsily as fast as they could. Very eerie site. At one point the crowd started a Reggie Reggie Reggie chant. That didn't last long as the ambulance came out to the field. Later on, Barry broke the 2000 yard mark, and it was loud, but not anything like it was prior to the accident. The Lions won that day, Barry broke the mark, and within a week or two Reggie was able to walk again. He would never see the football field again, but had his life.

Weekend in Review

Took my last vacation day on Friday and it turned out to be a fairly productive day. My M.O. would have been to sleep and be lazy, but I took care of some stuff that needed to be taken care of. Went on a date w/ Heather. Ahhhhhhhhh Dinner and a movie. A parents perfect date. Funny how when we are single we go to the bar every week and party. Now if you can get a sitter, dinner and a movie is just so wonderful.

Saturday I chased the kids around the house all day. Saturday was a hard day to be a Dad. I am sure it was a tough day to be my child. The boy was out of control and the girl that can walk, well she was the antagonizer. ALL DAY LONG. Ugh.... I have never yelled so much in one day. The girl that cannot walk and talk spent the afternoon, crying, spitting up, and messing her diapers 8 times. count em.... Eight effing times!!! She is a machine.

The lazy day unfortunately came on Sunday, in which I did not get anything done (except watch those effing Lions lose again). While I have pretty damn good excuses for laziness, deep down I know better. Two kids that walk/talk and a newborn, while they keep you busy, are no excuse for laziness, however, there I was on Sunday. Watching the big screen, stuffing myself w/ Pizza, and trying to keep the baby from crying so that I could hear every riveting moment of that game. I see other Dads out there raking leaves, throwing the ball around w/ their kids, yadda yadda yadda....Damnit I just wanted to be lazy. So lazy I was. Lazy I shall be again. For I am an American and this is my right.

Bird Flu

Symptoms of the BIRD FLU...

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of
symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the
following, please seek medical treatment immediately:
1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield.

I couldn't resist posting this one.

Upcoming Concerts

I have to say that I am pretty excited about 2 of the three concerts I have tickets to in the next couple of months. Coming up at the end of November is Depeche Mode at the Palace. Mode is always a great show. They just seem bigger than life. I haven't bought the new album yet, but plan to as the set lists that I have seen on line seem to suggest the concert will be loaded w/ new stuff.

In December it is off to the Palace again to see Lenny Kravitz and Aerosmith. What a powerhouse lineup. I would pay $100 to see Lenny alone. I don't think Lenny gets the critical acclaim that he should. Some people argue that he wants to be the child of Prince and Jimmy Hendrix. That he doesn't have a signature sound. That he is too much of a dreamer. Well to quote John Lennon, "I'm not the only one." Lenny's music has always been thought provocative. "Mr. Cab Driver" was one of my favorite songs on the first album. Stripped and Raw, this song was a narrative of what African Americans, let alone ones w/ funky hair, go through in big city life. Truly opened my eyes to what was then a very small world for me. As for Aerosmith, well all I have to say is *Piiiink is my favorite color*. I love that song. Just a great American band. nuff said.

Finally, a week and a half before our wedding, Heather and I are going to the Detroit Opera House to see Il Divo. I would rather see The Beastie Boys gettin ill, but Heather just loves the Il Divo. Whenever we are in her Durango and she puts that CD on I just cringe. "unbreak my heart" in Opera just isn't my thing. But, hey, got some brownie points for buying the tickets.

Upcoming Thanksgiving Holiday

I cannot believe that we are one week away from Thanksgiving (and another Detroit Lion disappointment). I spent all of my morning drive time thinking about the things that I am thankful for. So here you go....

1. God for giving me life
2. Heather and my children for whom I live.
3. My Parents and Brother's family for love and support.
4. Heathers Family for welcoming me.
5. Susans family for being so wonderful to Stefanie and Brendan.
6. I have 2 jobs when there are many people in metro Detroit that don't have one.
7. A roof over our heads.
8. Ability to feed and clothe my family
9. My Friends ( I am so blessed to have as many close friends as I do).
10. Music to enhance whatever mood I am in.
11. Sports to escape into.
12. Television to Entertain me.
13. Cell Phone to talk to my friends and family.
14. E-mail to connect with those that are not in close proximity.
15. Digital Camera to capture memories of my children.

That is just the short list. I am blessed

Obsession with the Detroit Lions

I don't get it, never have, but what ever it is, I wish it would stop. I have been obsessed w/ the Detroit Lions for as long as I can remember. Football no doubt is now "America's Past Time" and I am sure that has something to do with it. However, this piss poor franchise has given us all nothing but disappointment and shame our entire lives.

I know they will never go to the Super Bowl, yet I still watch. I know they will find a new way to lose, yet I still go to the games. I know they will ruin yet another Thanksgiving, yet I am there w/ my Jersey on wondering if the game will be better than the half time entertainment.

WHY? I don't feel as if I am a masochist. I feel as if I am a reasonable human being with the ability to think for myself, but there I am, a sheep.

This year the Mighty Honolulu Blue and Silver w/ a touch of Black have the ability to ruin a total of 3, count em, 3 holidays. There is no doubt in my mind that Mike Vick will kill them on Thanksgiving. I am sure that the levee will break against the Saints on Christmas Eve, and there is no way they won't be thrown under the bus by the Steelers on New Years.

Having said that, there I will be on Thanksgiving yelling from my seat @ Mooch. There I will be on Christmas Eve @ my parents condo thanking god they only have a 32" TV so it won't feel like I am in the Alomo Dome witnessing the Grinch steal Christmas. There I will be on New Years Day w/ Nachos in one hand and a razor blade in the other.

I saw my dad as a child act this way w/ his home town team the Dallas Cowboys. He actually kicked the TV one year when Dwight Clark made "the catch". Now my son will see this of me. The good news is, that I will revel in delight knowing that maybe, just maybe, he will not root for the Lions as I hated the Cowboys, just because Dad loved them.

Maybe there is hope for Brendan.

The woman who has changed my life

This woman has changed my life. She has shown me so much love, understanding and kindness. While my first wife Susan was my high school sweetheart, after her death, I never thought I would find that kind of love again. Heather has taken on not only myself (god bless her), but my children from that marriage and loves them as if they were her own. Now with the birth of our baby girl Giavanna, our "circle of life" is complete.
God has truely blessed me.